Lol! My going to grave is not a matter of public utterance as far as my knowledge goes,but some people have made my day by embedding my heroics in their life to such an extent that even carbon bonds in diamond would shy away. I have made a small cell in my heart to nab and held captive these stories for multiple reasons to go silent to grave. It is I who thought to take them with me so people LIP (Live in Peace), but no, the LIP(common guys, its English Lips) :), they never let them rest.
It is funny when you hear dialogues like “Jab log tumhare bare main bolte hain to samjho tum taraki kar rahe ho” (When people speak about you, it means you are important and advancing), “Haathi chalichi majare, kukura bhaku chanti hazaare” (The majestic elephant is walking merrily and thousands of dogs barking at top of chords at the majestic creature) as a matter of fact it is really funny to see it happening around you. Ouch, did that hurt, watch “Pain and Gain” and keep reading to gain something at the end!!This is a real story and and in disclaimer notes none of the characters are fake.
One fine morning in 2009 January dawn dawned upon an introvert, and it was because of my best friends who calls her “Sumaniii” as that rhymes with their names when they said “Lets do some changes in you”. They asked “What problems have you got in wearing jeans and tees?” Poor being was like “Fine will do”. Some other day “What problems have you got in coming to functions?” Deprived soul is like “Fine will comply”. and there it all started. Yes, the “Xtasy 2009”, thought of something new , rather than being a bystander and named it as Murder Mystery. An event that was novel and none other event matched what was done in such short time. Being Agatha Christie fan I decided will do the event in the last two years at my alma mater this function and attend the function as instructed by my bosses (Silpi and Sompa). The first year was a great turn out and even though the committee didn’t pay even a penny to the winners and my name was slandered I thought of repeating my mistake in 2010 also as a promise made to self.
So the event in 2010, wait a minute, little flash back in 2010 did see a girl who was dancing in some show somewhere and was whistled now and then for her curves and moves. I was mocking at some junior’s comments without paying heed. The show got over we were leaving for canteen, when I saw the girl holding an aged person and walking her to the car. I smiled and kind of felt sparks. Then a song, come back guys no Telugu Hero Heroine scene. I walked to the canteen and my friends were talking about her dance. I was still having the scene of the car in my neurons. Now after the flash back the scene goes like this, I had the characters etc chalked out for my event “Murder Mystery”. I needed volunteers, but I had to get juniors as I know participants rather than game would concentrate on talking to girls “free entry”, right, so I better not ask 4th and 3rd year. So left outs are 2nd year and 1st year, not sure 2nd year had some business going on and had to get from first years and anyhow they are new and go though ragging so at least event is much better than that.
I had a good team who knew juniors from my department and told will arrange the characters for the event. If I am not aging and grey cells intact, I had 4 female characters and 4 male characters. We had male characters but finding female character was not easy. All we could gather were 3 volunteers from first year who said yes and last one I had to beg one of my batch-mate Devika to play. There were no rehearsals needed, I prepared the dialogues and answers for the character and asked Pragyananda for the names and email ids of the people. He gave them to me and I send them the details. Only one day I asked them for the rendezvous so that they know what it was all about. It was tuesday afternoon I suppose when the team assembled for brief meet. Fate or destiny wrote the tryst when that day’s car girl walked in. I almost stood their frozen, forgetting what have I to speak to these. I told Pragyan, dude take it and explain I will be back. I ran and search the names on the sheet(Please note, no smart phones yet). I guessed the wrong name and called out loud to give the roles when I came back. I gave the wrong girl the right character “Mrs.Brigenza”. Damn me!
Anyways destiny had it all planned so let be it. I made some changes in characters to fit the girl. As there were no rehearsals as promised to volunteers, I had to find ways to alter the engraved words just to meet her. So I called for a plan change to have a call out or read out session of the story. She didn’t come in lieu of some dance practice and I am like whatever, let me be judicious to my work. The day of event arrived and the turn out was huge, 60+ participants(too huge a number for a such an event) filled the room and some standing participants had to be accommodated. Participants ran out of Quiz events to be a part of it and my batch mates were making a fuss about the same saying why is this event made clashing with ours. The girl didn’t come that day too and someone else filled in for her. It was Jaba and later by Sovna may be. Jaba was so silent that I thought ultimately I will have to deliver her dialogues. Many a changes in characters has happened and I think one more volunteer(Swikruti) also dropped and was replaced by Pooja, my sweet sister who I think is one of the best things that has happened to me during that time.
The event ended well, and the gathering that started the game were equally energetic when it was over and the whole crowd was there without a miss to know the solution of the mystery. It was a huge hit with claps from all angle, but I felt it was not a success for me. I never knew when from the event success focus has shifted from applauds of the participants to the car girl who didn’t come. Oh on a funny note, this year also the management engulfed the money and not even a certificate to winners. I know some of if you when read it might get reddened with fury. Ahh! don’t mind your food would need less chilly this night and if you have extra shove it into your butts.
I almost forgot all of her, when I received a mail from her in askance of apology of not making it to the event in the last minute. No please, no telugu songs right now. I said it is not an issue and take it easy as all went well. I asked if I can get her number and she gladly gave, her Facebook id and she did add me. We started chatting and phone talks but she was mostly busy with classes. Even though not prompt, my messages never were let go without receiving a reply. She did respond to messages, yes those old style SMS-es. One fine day I told her I will be vanishing to States chasing my wild dreams. Her emotions were muzzled. She stopped talking and started taking pleas being here and there, but did call back when she feels like and that whole call would change this guy to be rowdy (yes, now picturize the telugu stars).
She never discouraged that moment and let the muzzle muffle things between us. She wished me regular talked about class and her days. I was like these things happen and she would understand what is it all about. That year was the year of football world cup and the girl being a big fan of the games wanted to watch the same, but her good grace and my ill fate she didn’t have a television in hostel and her exams were going on. Football to me is like fishing to a man from desert. I even didn’t know what an off-side was when I took it on me. I promised her one thing, “Eyes will be mine but view will be hers”. I read the wikipedia that I haven’t even used for my studies also to know about football. I kept my words, every single match day in day out I watched and sent her live feed (No RSS feed API was implemented), it was freaking hand typed scores through SMSs even at the dead of nights for the whole match season. Her replies are like “Thank you, I love Ozil, I love Messi”. I was happy in seeing these replies.
The frequency of calls increased at least. She kept saying “you are nice”, ohh I forgot even though junior she never addressed me as “bhaiya”, that stigma which we carried as Indians of addressing elders with tags and not names alone. I had my TOEFL dates nearing and knew it would be incomplete if I don’t meet her once at least. So I called her up and asked whenever she wants and wherever she can I will come. She kept extending the dates and my exams got over and Visa work started. I kept saying will meet you once and thats all and she kept making new stories. I told it is enough and drew her two of her favorite cartoons and wrote a letter (Oh! not a love letter), it was more of words saying why from my side. I gave her friend the packet and said please give it to her, her friend smiled and said “You deserve better than her”. I smiled and told “Let fate say it”, and flew away on my scooty.
I never received a mail, message or a call from her. My visa was done on 20th of August and I was flying to States on 22nd. I called her almost 15 times that day and asked if she can meet and all she said was tha “She is busy”. 20th ended with nothing in hand, and with beginning of 21st I thought this will seal the fate and with courage called her to ask, what was it all about. She didn’t get my question at first attempt so I had to repeat what was that she sought from doing all this and what does she think about me, the reply I got from her took away everything from me “I had infatuation about you!”. That was the end, I knew I made a mistake. A kid who wants an Optimus Prime action figure when gifted the same without effort loses interest in the same. I cut the call as was traveling to Puri Jagannath Temple. When I came back, I wrote my last message to her saying “Would never ping you and this is the end of our chapter”.
I came with a heavy heart to the land of dreams. Yes, I too had a dream that I put in the pocket and came here. Great you guys have read the nice parts of the stories now lets throw some light on other aspects. First of all, I am sorry miss, the reason I never told about you to anyone is because I didn’t want your name to be slandered. Your fans hate me I know, as if I care.
You my dear girl, I kept my word to the bottom and never felt like making peace with you, but your lips service never stopped, isn’t it. You told I was mad about you, disturbed you, perturbed you. Your lovers got angry and jealous of me when you told I bothered you. Mark my words, your lovers hear my name only and none other from the plural bunch of LOVERS. They changed the tone and it kept circulating like a freaking MMS. It is fun, read the quotes above, the elephant is still happy and absolutely calm as you are a ghost for me from 22nd August 2010.
I thought it will stop one day when you get some guy in life. And one fine morning your room-mate told, you got committed and I am like awesome as now I wouldn’t hear the heroics tale of self. But wow, you told the guy to get committed on one condition “If he could become like me(Suman)”. I am like okay I have to stop this, don’t ruin someone else’s life, let the fellow chase his dreams. I pinged her, broke my words saying “Please don’t do that to him, he is in a good job and just early in career let him chase his dreams and not mine” but you convinced me saying that “He wants to be like me and walk the same lane”. I gave her the details what are needed in terms of preparation etc. and the conversation ended. I did talk to her friends and ask if she is doing okay with the things, but her friends were so happy to share the screen with her, that I had to kick them out of my life so that she can be happy with the guy rather than thinking I am still waiting for her.
I was invited to attend the Mr and Miss Xtasy Contest as judge on unfaithful day of February 2013. I went to meet Sovna and see the destiny, she walked right into me when I was conversing with Sovna on the corridor near Comp Science HOD’s room. As soon as I glimpsed her I left the talk in the middle letting her and her roommate (Jaba) gapping what has happened and who was that guy, seems familiar. Detailing, my hair was long and of course I looked different as if Wolverine got his hair styled as Brad Pitt’s recent hair style endevour. Jaba came and complained why on earth I didn’t meet her. I told destiny challenged me three years back and now I challenged the destiny, I will never meet her, mind it guys, I have done no wrong yet, ran away, because I know what infatuation is.
Days passed. Jaba had some painting competition and she pinged me after that. I asked about basic whereabouts and she asked if I paint. I am like, yes why. She told you gave her two paintings (cartoons) and they are so good that she drew copying one of them at the competition and bagged a second prize. I told her that glad it came to her help. She said, you know she loves them and treasure them close to her. She came running to me after an hour and took it so that I don’t mess up the paintings. I am like “Ha ha good to know, I thought she would have burnt them by now as a gift from random FLIRTY guy”. Jaba told no, she has it all and still value them as her collection of sandals (if I remember correctly there were 110 that time).
Some more slinging, I did this I did that. One day one of her batch mate came and told bhaiya she told “Aaj Suman jo bhi hai meri wajah se hai, maine hi nahin rokka tha ussey” (Whatever Suman has become is because of her, if she wouldn’t have let me go then things would have been different). The guy who left all in tears because of her, has become what he is now with her grace. I did digest that. Her friends told she is a disaster and not worth of me. But I said to them, everyone is good, it just situation that compel them to do things.
Why did I write about it today from blue? What has changed?
I was fine till the point when the bullets were piercing through me, but now when they come to people around me and whom I care, I won’t let you pull trigger anymore. The ears that you are trying to fill with evil words about me, has heard me for 9 months through phone through those very ears. The eyes that you dare to bring tears have seen me through thick and thin on videos. The person you are trying to throw dirt on, to her, has never met her, but still she belittles you and your sly nature. Your years of impression is washed with my presence in her life even though I am miles apart. Good lord, you are angry at me, I am surprised how much f**king time you guys have got to talk about some unknown guy and his nature. Don’t worry the elephant is still smiling at your existence.
By the way, guys I don’t even know your names and regarding “CAR GIRL”, if you my girl have a little bit of shame, confess if not in public at least with a message as I am leaving out your name with full anonymity to save your skin last time.
~~~ Angry Shakespeare
